


i see death in my dreams

by certifiedclown



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And i love, BAMF Mike, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Character Death, Death, Depression, Dreams and Nightmares, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Graphic Description of Corpses, Heavy Angst, I mean, Intrusive Thoughts, Isolation, Josh Lives, Legends, Major Character Injury, Medical Experimentation, Medical Trauma, Mental Anguish, Multi, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Nightmares, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prophetic Dreams, Prophetic Visions, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Romantic Fluff, Sad, Schizophrenia, Service Dogs, Spirits, Starvation, Survival Horror, Violent Thoughts, Weapons, Wendigo, but more angst than fluff, im love her, its until dawn man, just...bad thoughts galore tbh, mike can see the future okay, mike isnt having a good time, no one is tbh, or he can see possibilities...?, sam is a motherfucking beast guys, there is.....A Lot, what do you expect, wolfie is a good fucking dog., you know the drill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 11:30:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20759648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/certifiedclown/pseuds/certifiedclown
Summary: Mike has always had....graphic dreams. They were always so dark and scary and cold and there was always so much bloodandscramingnadcryingandohgodHannahpleasedon’t! But he was fine - it’snotrealit’snotrealit’snotrealyou’renotreal - because he always knew he would wake up. Until he didn't - notrealnotrealnotrealnotrealnotrealit’sreal.





	i see death in my dreams

Mike is five when the dreams start. At first, they're impressions of feelings and sensations; overwhelming fear for her -  _ who? who is she? _ \- and icy winds biting at his bare arms; heartbreak because he's too late and a burning in his lungs; laughter and the feeling of lips on his; panic and a sharp, cutting pain in his fingers; relief and soft fur underneath his pam. Just impressions and feelings. A little flash here and there. So simple and so -  _ frightening  _ \- forgettable. They’re tame and simple and he forgets them almost immediately after he wakes up, but they still linger in the back of his mind. Little echoes that will not be completely forgotten. And when Mike tells his mother, she smiles -  _ what is that in her eyes?  _ \- and dismisses them as the result of an overactive imagination. 

(That doesn’t stop her from taking him to a psychiatrist who takes one look at the heavy bags under the five-year-old’s eyes and prescribes him some light sleeping pills. And then Mike’s dreams fade away into nothing and he sleeps undisturbed. 

“Mommy, why’d’you get me sleepy pills? I can’t see when I sleep now!”

“Oh, sweetie, they’re just to help you sleep better. They make all those unhappy dreams fade away. Once you get used to them, you’ll start dreaming again. Don’t worry.”

“Okay, mommy.”

He’s five-years-old when his dream are taken from him by white pills and a gritty taste in his mouth.)

He's just turned seven when the dreams begin again. But instead of just getting flashes of feelings, he gets flashes of images. He starts to see the scenes paired with the feelings; a woman being dragged away from him and snow clouding his vision; a missing jaw and sightless eyes and wheezing breaths; a smiling woman and his hands on her hips; blood splattered on metal teeth and bone white knuckles closed around a rusty blade; a white light in his hand and a grey wolf at his feet. These new dreams leave him frozen -  _ don't move, it'll see you _ \- and crying in the dead of night.His mother tries everything to comfort him, but nothing works.

(She takes him back to the psychiatrist and begins paying for regular sessions, but the man -  _ Dr. A.J Hill, don’t trust him, he failed  _ ** _him _ ** _ and he’ll fail you -  _ can’t do anything to help him. He prescribes countless medicines, but nothing works and Mike is left as tormented as he was when they began the sessions.

Eventually, his mother takes him out of the sessions, thanks Dr. Hill with a pained smile and returns home, clutching her child in her arms as helpless sobs wrack her body. And Mike can;t do anything but twist his little fingers  _ \- isn’t there too many on your left hand? weren’t you missing those? didn’t you cut them off?  _ \- into her blouse and close his eyes as she cries into his hair.

And so Mike, at the ripe age of seven, learns to  _ lie. _

“You okay, baby? Did you sleep okay? Any nightmares?”

“No, mommy, I had a good dream! You were there, you know, but you were really small and tiny because I was flying! I had wings, mommy!”

“Oh? Really? That’s a very nice dream!”

“Yeah, it was pretty cool. Hey, do we have anymore gushers? I’m hungry.”

At first, he feels guilty about lying to his mother, but those feelings pass quickly. He’s still getting sleep and the dreams really aren’t that bad - except when they’re so bad that he wakes up at four in the morning and can’t bring himself to move until the sun is streaming in through his window. He’s fine, he’ll be okay, he will.)

He's 10 when he gets names for the -  _ dead, alive, monstrous _ \- faces in his dreams. The names only make it worse. He begins searching for Jessica when he's at school; crying for her when he sees her torn face; screaming for her when he feels her lips on his once again. He doesn’t just scream for her -  _ where’s Sam? Sam? it’s all my fault, I killed Josh, I killed him, I killed him, I’m  _ ** _sorry _ ** \- but, eventually, the screams quieten and become whimpers until they finally stop altogether. He can’t scream and cry and mourn people who exist only in his head.

(But, he realizes, when he and his mom move and he transfers to a new school, that they don’t exist only in his dreams. They’re real -  _ blood and flesh, skin and bone, they’re real  _ \- and that scares Mike more than he likes to admit. 

So, he takes to avoiding them when he can - when it’s not so very obvious - but Josh has always been persistent. And he’s decided that he wants to be Mike’s friends so he doesn’t leave him alone. And Mike is both overjoyed and dismayed. 

“Hey! I’m Josh and this is my absolute best friend Chris! What’s your name? Well, I know your name - everyone does - but my mom says it’s only polite to ask for people’s names when you’re introducing yourself. I think it’s a little weird and stupid because I already know your name, but adults do weird, stupid stuff all the time. Anyway, d’you wanna be friends?”

“Josh, slow down! Breathe a little in between talkin’ his ears off, jeez.”

“Oh, yeah, right, uh, sorry ‘bout that Mike. I get a little carried away sometimes, I guess.”

“A “little”?”

“Shut up, Chris! No one asked you. So, Mikey, what d’you say? Wanna be friends?”

“.....sure.”

“Great!”

“Wow, I can’t believe you didn’t scare him off!”

“Shut. Up. Chirs.”

“But if I shut up who will make fun of you?”

And so Mike meets two of the people that haunt his dreams and stain his brain with blood that no one else will see. And he can’t even be mad about it - Josh had always been important to him.)

Mike is twelve when he meets the rest of Josh’s family. Josh had invited him to a slumber party and Mike had agreed warily - his dreams still wake him up with screams on his lips. But he forgets about the two people he’s been avoiding since he meet Josh.

Hannah and Beth.

And while he’s walking up the street in the high-end neighborhood to the largest and most grand house, he panics. He’s going to see  _ Hannah and Beth _ . He’s going to see -  _ white, white eyes, long fangs, torn lips, and skin stretched taut over bones  _ \- two of the people who always  _ die.  _ No matter what he does in the dreams - no matter what decision dream Mike makes - they always die. 

(Sometimes the dreams start at the beginning of the horrors and dream Mike tries to prevent them - Jess, Emily, and Matt - from committing that prank. 

But they never listen. They do it with or without him. No matter what he says to them. 

And Hannah always runs into the storm. Always. Even if Mike catches her first and attemptes to talk her down. She smiles at him, tears in her brown eyes, and then she pushes passed him and he watches helplessly, unwilling to chase after her. To see that horrible creature when he doesn’t have to.

He’s such a coward.)

This scares Mike more than meeting Josh and Chris had -  _ I'm so sorry, Hannah, please forgive me _ \- and he shuns Hannah and Beth. For a few hours at least. Josh introduces him to Sam Giddings. And Sam refuses to leave him out of the loop. Not that he really minds.

Sam is a relief to Mike and he latches into her like a parasite. She is a comfort in his bleeding world -  _ we survived, Sam, don't you remember? we helped each other, we  _ ** _saved _ ** _ each other _ \- and he's so grateful that she is real. They never become close despite the fact that he likes her the most and that's okay. Her presence is more than enough.

(He’s missed her, he realizes after they’ve finished watching Megamind, popcorn all over the floor and butter smeared on their mouths. He’s missed her. 

Mike’s missed a person he’s only ever seen in his dreams. Someone he’s never even spoken to before this. He doesn’t know anything about Sam - _he knows _**_everything_** \- and he’s missed her. 

Sam was always the most understanding in his dreams. She always forgave him first. She was always there for him. She was there. She was there.

Sometimes, when he’s being overwhelmed by the dreams, he wonders if he loves her. He feels more for her than he ever felt for Emily. He feels more for her than he ever felt for Jess and he’d really liked Jess. Sometimes, he wonders if he loves Sam. And he thinks he does.

He’d die for her. And isn’t that love?)

Mike meets Matthew Taylor and Ashely Brown in eighth grade. At this point, the dreams have faded to make room for more pressing concerns like boys, girls -  _ Sam and Josh _ \- and his grades. Of course, they haven;t faded completely. He’s just gotten very good at ignoring them. And, admittedly, he's a little numb to seeing his dreams come alive at this point. So he doesn't so much as blink an eye when he meets two more faces that haunt him. 

He even makes an effort to get to know them - he knows them so well, they’re so very cruel, Hannah didn’t deserve it - and he actually forgets about the dreams. Well, somewhat. They still wake him up in the middle of the night with screams falling from his lips and tears from his eyes.

But it’s undoubtedly getting better.

(He supposes his new friends help with that, but they also make it worse. The dreams always get worse when he meets a face who lived in them. But it’s not so bad. He’s getting used to it - slowly but surely becoming numb to them and the horrible, vivid images of death and fire.

He’s not so afraid of the dark anymore. He can even go outside now. And that’s great, but it’s also concerning.

He’s not scared of the dark anymore. Yes, he still wakes up with screams on his tongue, but that’s more of a reflex now. He’s not so scared of the dreams now.

And that’s more than a little worrying since they seem to be predictions - visions of the future. 

He’s apathetic to the fact that in a few years time - some time after their senior year - he and his friends will face horrors unknown. Except they  _ could  _ be known. If only Mike would tell them.

If only he’d open his mouth and let the torrent of information and warnings spill from his lips.

He knows he should tell them. Or at least give a vague warning, but he doesn’t. He knows they’ll be mostly fine. And he knows he can save those who won’t be. Sure, the future is unpredictable and not set in stone, but he can learn from the possibilities he sees.

He can fix everything. But he can’t stop it from happening.

He’s such a coward.)

Eleventh grade year is different.

Eleventh grade year is when he meets Emily Davis and her best friend Jessica Riley. Seeing Jess's face -  _ her jaw is missing, her skin is cold, and there is so much bloodbloodblood and everything is redredred _ \- reminds Mike of just what he sees when he closes his eyes. And he remembers why he's always been afraid of the dark. 

(It seems he was wrong about the encroaching apathy. No, he’s not as numb as he thought. No, he’s not over his fear of the dark. And, no, despite the reminder, he still won’t tell anyone of the death he sees flashing over the inside of his eyelids. 

He’s such a  _ coward _ .)

**Author's Note:**

> Would you believe me if I said it came to me in a dream?
> 
> (Also, yes, I am aware that I deleted this only to immediately re-upload it - revamped! - but. I want this to exist. So. Here it is.)
> 
> Comment below and tell me your thoughts! If you want to chat, my Tumblr is [iwishihadbrain.](https://iwishihadbrain.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Hey, you should totally check out this server I made: [spicy hot takes!](https://discord.gg/UBpDYdQ) It's a server dedicated to your takes on shows, characters, books, etc. Those theories you have bottled up can be aired out there! And I'm there (assuming you like me) so there's that! Really just join it. Please. (My band needs members, okay?)


End file.
